of the earlier today. only 2143 of the 5700 migrants that rwanda had agreed to accept can be found for detention. all had been told that their asylum claims were inadmissible, but more than half have now stopped reporting to the home office comes after prime minister rishi sunak said he expected the first flights to kigali to take off in 10 to 12 weeks. well, maybe they're in ireland because ireland's department of justice is standing by claims that 80% of asylum seekers are coming into the country through northern ireland. it comes after refugee organisations questioned that figure released by the country's minister for justice. irelands deputy premier, micheal martin, has said it was not based on evidence, statistics or data . evidence, statistics or data. however, britain's northern ireland minister said the uk's new rwanda deterrent is clearly working. >> it was always going to be the case. we believed as a government that our rwanda policy would act as a deterrent

for people coming to this country illegally, i think we are slightly surprised that it's manifested itself so quickly after the act, became , law, and after the act, became, law, and we are now in the process of making sure that we are, gathering those individuals who could qualify for the first flight to be on that first flight. >> the snp is preparing for a leadership contest after the scottish first minister announced his resignation. earlier, humza yousafs admitted that he underestimated the level of upset that he would cause by cutting political ties with the greens . he'll now continue in greens. he'll now continue in his post until a replacement can be found. clearly emotional, mr yousaf said he is quitting to help repair relationships across the political divide. >> i bear no ill will and certainly bear no grudge against anyone. politics can be a brutal business. it takes its toll on your physical and mental health. your family suffer alongside

you. i am in absolute debt to my wonderful wife , my beautiful wonderful wife, my beautiful children and my wider family for putting up with me over the years. i'm afraid you'll be seeing a lot more of me, from now . how. >> now. >> and finally, in the united states, multiple police officers have been shot in charlotte, nonh have been shot in charlotte, north carolina. the local police department has issued a statement saying that the shooting began in as officers from the us marshals task force were carrying out an investigation. the scene is being described as still active. they're urging local residents to remain indoors. local media are reporting that at least one officer has been killed. multiple victims have been transported to hospital. we're told. right? for the latest stories, sign up to gb news alerts by scanning the qr code on your screen, or go to gb news. com slash alerts. now over to our headliners .

to our headliners. >> hello and welcome to headliners on this glorious monday evening. your first look at tuesday's front pages , all at tuesday's front pages, all adorned with front pages to treasure and keeping an almanac. i am simon evans, joining me tonight, two comedians, cressida wetten and nick dixon , who i'm wetten and nick dixon, who i'm sure are feeling every bit as upbeat about the future of the british isles as i am tonight. nick, you look sort of slightly ambivalent. possibly. yeah. >> loving life. >> loving life. >> well, humza's gone so i'm happy. >> i'm still happy. >> i'm still happy. >> exactly. that's all we need to worry about at this point, isn't it? god knows what sort of power vacuum has been created up there, but nothing can be filled with a small chemical explosion. anyway, let's have a look at those front pages daily mail all schools warned on sextortion epidemic where there's humza at the top there to remind us of the top there to remind us of the real story. telegraph sex is a biological fact. nhs declares.

wow, what a world guardian yousef quits as first minister after coalition gamble triggers snp crisis, i news pip disability benefit could be cut using new system with six tiers. and finally the daily star. creepy jez i'll kill il 18 billion slugs. >> well , those were front pages >> well, those were front pages. so kicking off the in—depth look into tuesday's front pages with the metro chris up the metro, you've only got yourself to blame . blame. >> you see what they did? cunning, cunning snp crisis as leader quits in tears. i don't know if you've watched the footage, i imagine you have, but i've watched the 30s i couldn't, i've watched the 30s i couldn't, i haven't managed to see the whole thing. >> well. >> well. >> the tears are very there are

high standard of politicians tears. we used to sturgeon's hancock had a go a while ago. >> theresa theresa may. that single word. yeah. >> yeah absolutely. very good standard of tier three. >> i love. yeah, yeah it was. yeah it was i watched the whole 8.5 minutes or whatever it was. yeah. he should he really be crying though in a public platform like that as a man, as a man. >> no. and also as an utter failure. and you know, just like not somebody who i think really represented what the snp is supposed to be about, you know, the dream of scottish independence, pride, nobility . independence, pride, nobility. instead, he's been entangled in really quite petty little disputes of one kind or another, ridiculous identity politics. it's all been just a horrible farrago, isn't it? >> yeah , but he has got a lot to >> yeah, but he has got a lot to cry about in that sense, hasn't he? yeah. although i should say a woman shouldn't either in that context. thatcher did like once, but because she was so stoic all the rest of the time, you did sort of respect it. as a general rule, no politician in that position should cry. that's my point. >> well, we could get to the should men cry debate and we

could have that for hours. but as a politician, i don't think it's a great look personally. but it depends what circumstances you're resigning under or whether, you know, did you reach for the stars and fall? >> you know, just like just go beyond your central reference? >> yeah . >> yeah. >> yeah. >> or did you or was it just like a, you know , this kind of like a, you know, this kind of tangled. >> yeah. well on that the first thing, the first achievement he listed was just his race. he was a great achievement. very strange to me. i think people are kind of over this race stuff and that isn't his achievement. >> i'm sorry. that is the achievement of the scottish people who looked beyond his race in order to accept him and to elect him. that's actually that's actually the that is an achievement, but not his. >> but then and then he listed all the current crop of leaders we have in the uk who are all bad as some sort of, a validation of multiculturalism, which is a complete non—sequitur. i mean, even if they are good, that's got nothing to do with multiculturalism, you could say had something to do with assimilation. multiculturalism is just autonomous cultures retaining their features in their adopted nation. and if they're bad, then it's even worse. i don't understand what that had to do with anything,

and i think people are generally sick of this racial stuff. he famously did the white speech. i think people that's not the reason he went, of course, which was the coalition with the greens and a massive misjudgement. but i think people are generally sick of that kind of race politics. >> couldn't agree more. absolutely. i think the white speech was didn't do him any favours. no people. >> it was interesting how it resurged, if that is a word, is it as a resurgence resurfaced, doesit it as a resurgence resurfaced, does it resurface? >> they always resurface. >> they always resurface. >> it resurfaced because of his own hate speech law, because of his own introduction of that . his own introduction of that. everyone shared that video. i don't again, i don't think it's why he went, but i wonder whether it added to the feeling the greens wanted to detach them, disassociate themselves? >> i'd like to think so. they probably loved it. i mean, the unfortunate thing is that the labour leader now has the almost it's almost the exact same speech, like he's been cloned . speech, like he's been cloned. have you seen it? he's done exactly the same speech. anas sarwar. that's his name, isn't it , scottish labour. yes. right. it, scottish labour. yes. right. and so it's out of the frying pan into the other idiot. as the phrase goes. i had to tone down when i said online, but because we got a 5 am, moving on to the telegraph , nick, they got

telegraph, nick, they got a different story. >> yes. >> yes. >> sorry, i feel i took over something. >> there's been a major breakthrough in in the, field of biological sex is a biological fact , nhs declares. fact, n hs declares. >> fact, nhs declares. >> i know this comes as news to you, simon, but listen up, buster, because sex is real. so the constitution updated every ten years. so, you know, that's probably why they've lagged behind a bit has now been updated because in 2021, you can still be placed in a single sex ward with someone who was pretending to be that sex because they identified as such. but now you can't because they've changed it, and which is a great thing . although some nhs a great thing. although some nhs leaders have raised concerns that the health service was being dragged into a pre—election culture wars debate. i love that you just stick in the phrase culture wars when you don't want any anything normal to happen, very similar to an interview that was going around recently . around recently. >> caroline nokes the tory in like a rhino tory. yeah, who was, caught about a year ago, scolding an lbc , talk show host, scolding an lbc, talk show host, i believe, about, you know, his what is what is a woman kind of,

you know, that line of questioning, you know, and how in what sense is a trans woman, a woman and she just kept going on and on and on about how unnecessarily toxic the debate is. this is such a gaslighting line, isn't it? >> yeah. o'brien class. yeah. >> yeah. o'brien class. yeah. >> stop forcing me to actually make sense. that's so toxic . make sense. that's so toxic. >> absolutely. i think those days are behind us and this is going to help us with the next mad thing, isn't it? because people are going to remember this. you know, you can't just have activists calling the shots and not not come up with some common sense. absolutely. >> i'd love it. i'd love to think you're right, chris, but i think you're right, chris, but i think the next thing we'll just come up and catch people off guard again. we had covid, you know, wokeness, blm every new one catches people off guard. i'm worried the new one is going to be euthanasia. and we'll all be told it's terribly caring if you don't go along with it. you're evil. well be interesting. >> everyone was extremely hostile to matthew paris when he, that's true, but his article was. >> so. >> so. >> i think that's a while. but i know, i mean, it was only about three months into covid, wasn't it, that black lives matter? i mean, that was george floyd,

obviously a specific incident. but, you know, that really everyone thought identity politics was going to be killed by by a massive worldwide pandemic. instead, it it trumps it . it. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> fuelled it. it's extraordinary. anyway, sex is a biological fact, the nhs declares. whereas the times have something on plato which somehow feels they do like a kind of direct j'accuse. >> they don't get into anything toxic. >> they do well, they're mainly going the snp . snp lurches into going the snp. snp lurches into another crisis as leader quits, but they've also got scroll reveals plato's final musings. why is that flautist so bad, so apparently they found a scroll and a lady was playing the flute for him and he didn't think she was very good. >> this is so. this has been discovered in, like, pompeii or. no, not pompeii . that was that no, not pompeii. that was that was roman, wasn't it? rather than greek. >> she was a scroll slave girl. yeah, yeah. and she was thracian, which is like he looked up north asian turkey. >> yes. >> yes. >> north greece , but it's also >> north greece, but it's also could be romania and bulgaria. you've got your maps out. >> you can get those books, can't you? with plato, with the maps in there, the high end. >> i'm just i'm just a fan of

thracian slave girl, so i knew. i knew already. yeah, i know what i'm saying. i know in the nonh what i'm saying. i know in the north we say differently. that's my get out clause. i love that, but he wasn't worried that she was a slave girl being forced to play was a slave girl being forced to play the flute. he was just like, why is she so rubbish? but a different times. >> he was, he just died of natural causes, right? plato. because socrates, of course, famously took poison surrounded by his fellow philosophers. and it's very movingly accounted hemlock. >> no, it was the it was it was the flute playing. it was done for him. but he was also he was also 80 or 81, it sounds like, wasn't it in the famous last words of somebody like a thousand, either that wallpaper goes or i do. >> who was that? >> who was that? >> that was socrates . was it? yeah. >> i think it might have been oscar wilde, i can't be. >> they've also got a story. over half of my. oh, no, it was napoleon, wasn't it? >> because he was. he is thought to have been poisoned by arsenic in the in the war. sorry i'm sorry. >> carry on. >> carry on. >> well, some migrants carry on. >> well, some migrants carry on. >> some migrants have gone missing. is anyone surprised the home office has lost contact with a bunch of people? it was going to send to rwanda. >> hopefully they're in ireland by now. and ending this section

with the daily star. nick. >> yes. glad we got this in creepy. jez i'll kill 18 billion slugs and the daily stars hug a slugs and the daily stars hug a slug campaign isn't going as well as we had hoped. who'd have thought hug a slug would have gone wrong? because old jez, which is jeremy clarkson, of course. thereafter, his barley and he's not having any of it. so he's going to commit a kind of slug genocide. >> fantastic. i mean, it's interesting that they've kind of pitched jez against the slugs. they're obviously trying to imply a certain kind of equivalence, aren't they? that's the way the photo is taken there as well. >> but it's not too bad . carlson >> but it's not too bad. carlson is looking pretty slug to 18 billion of anything. that's not too bad, is it? >> i've talked quite recently about sorting my slugs, which is not a good way to go. it is satisfying to watch the slugs curl up. >> oh no. >> oh no. >> there were loads of people making their way across our lawn like some great military manoeuvres. it was horrible , i manoeuvres. it was horrible, i suppose, to bake eggshells and then crushed them up and that's. >> and they go, oh, that's a bit sharp. >> and then they but it also kills your lawn. that's the trouble. if i had my time again, i'd get the air rifle.

>> one slug at a time. >> one slug at a time. >> time consuming. but saxual , >> time consuming. but saxual, that's the way. >> bake the eggshells, crush them. >> have night—time lighting on them, or just live in london and them, orjust live in london and then you won't have a garden? no, that's true. should have done that. yeah, true. okay, that's the front pages in part two, we have the meat from the middle snp hopefuls, irish si king arrogant and hopes for

welcome back to headliners with me. simon evans. with cressida wyton and nick dixon in the box. so let's have a look at the telegraph first. cressida on who is going to be the rishi. tecumseh's truss john swinney snp leadership favourite, backed transgender self id at 16 and an lgbt curriculum. >> so this is the guy who's well he hasn't said no. they're saying in here that he's suggested he will run. it's not quite what happened. they stuck a microphone in his face and said, will you? and he said, i

couldn't possibly say so. yeah, it looks likely. but anyway, he has supported all these things in the past that were not very keen on here. yeah, for example , keen on here. yeah, for example, and that have not proved to be great news for the snp generally. no exactly. so whether he'll have to third time lucky. yeah. i don't know whether he's going to have to change his mind and suddenly, decide he's not into net zero or self id or whatever. but currently that's, that's what's on his cv. >> what's the famous saying about insanity? doing the same thing and expecting the results to change? you know, i suppose with politics sometimes the wind does change direction, but if anything, the wind has decisive moved against the snp since they, they kind of . oh dear, they, they kind of. oh dear, what is wrong with them. >> well he's an snp career man. this guy, he joined them at 15. so imagine how many weird views you end up having or having to take.i you end up having or having to take. i mean yeah, he's still favourite though i'm not sure. i mean, but you never really trust the frontrunner, do you? at least in the tory elections. you

know, i've heard that jenny gilruth is an outside bet. she's currently fourth in the poll i saw kate forbes is second and neil, i would say kate forbes, who was like neck and neck with holmes initially and she was two, two presbyterian or something for them. >> yeah, they said old kirk christian, although actually she does well with muslims. >> really , because they like >> really, because they like that she's just open about her faith. obviously she's somewhat conservative on on certain social issues, so they tend to prefer that . whereas, swinney prefer that. whereas, swinney i'm not, you know, like, yeah, gilruth's doing well. forbes apparently is just not the right time for her. so i've heard, but who knows. you hear these also, hasn't this guy, he stepped in for ten minutes before, so he's. >> yeah. he knows a bit of experience. >> yeah. well i mean, i kind of feel like they probably need an englishman to go up there and run it for them, get them back on track, go back in the eu, which i always thought the most perverse position independence. >> but in the eu it's nonsense. >> but in the eu it's nonsense. >> well, i you're all right. somebody, a scotsman once said to me , you almost confidentially to me, you almost confidentially and i don't maybe this will be a controversial thing to say out loud. but he said, this isn't the thing that they like to say

out loud. i may have said it out loud on this show before. scots don't like to admit it in so many words. but the thing about the eu is freedom of movement is good for scots because most scots who have any promise at all, leave scotland immediately and go to london. wow! any bulgarians and romanians who have promised might go to glasgow or edinburgh, and you can sort of see their point . can sort of see their point. they are they they experience a permanent brain drain and within the context of freedom of movement, they can be replenished from countries that are more economically, you know, challenged than scotland is. but if you, if you grow up in scotland and you have ambition, you tend to fulfil it south of the border, it's very sad and i do feel a certain amount of sympathy for that . sympathy for that. >> i already thought that was offensive. and you hadn't said the offensive bit. actually, at that point we're gonna get so many emails . many emails. >> it's the bulgarians i feel sorry for. anyway, staying with the telegraph, rishi sunak is not interested in the return of damaged goods. >> indeed, britain not in business of taking more migrants, warns mel stride . so migrants, warns mel stride. so of course ireland are trying to

send them back, so to speak. but it's not going to happen, according to mel stride. so obviously the deterrent is working because all these migrants went to off ireland because they were worried about the rwanda policy. now ireland wants to call britain via a loophole , a safe third country, loophole, a safe third country, in order to send them back. i think we can quite easily prove we're not a safe country. just go on twitter , you know what i go on twitter, you know what i mean? that's that's an easy one. >> what they mean is it they mean not safe because you might get sent to a safe place to be trusted. >> okay. never mind. my joke doesn't work. >> i don't find this very horrifically safe place for, for people of many, heritage, isn't it? >> at the moment, certainly. london is on a saturday afternoon. >> what's many middle east, nonh >> what's many middle east, north africa? >> very much. yeah this is a new one for you. drop that down. do you think. >> do you really think that rwanda has been so successful in its , in how people know about it its, in how people know about it that it's making this difference already? no. >> absolutely not. no. but i suppose like bureaucratically it might be, but they are allegedly

going to ireland, aren't they. >> that, that that part's true. i because i'm questioning because they've heard that it's better . better. >> right. >> right. >> i think it's a bit of a coincidence. it's been better for ages. yeah, i'm not sure if it's better or not, but you might be, right. yeah. because since brexit, there's no clear rule about it. so they need to make a new law. there's no clear rule about it. so ireland's trying to bring in this law. we can send them to the uk. we're trying to counter it. we don't want to take we pointless to suddenly bring all the people back, wouldn't it? so it's called an emergency law. >> how quickly are they going to make it a law? anything that's called an emergency, i think. oh, we'll be talking about this for the next 18 months. >> ireland just needs their own rwanda. lorne, send them on again somewhere else. >> there were some other rwanda or somewhere else. >> atlantis. >> atlantis. >> nice. yeah just they could have just a massive platform half, you know, about 30 miles out into the atlantic, couldn't they? they could. yeah. you full ofideas they? they could. yeah. you full of ideas tonight . of ideas tonight. >> i think it's quite i mean, there's going to be some creativity shown in this issue soon, chris, the times and it

sounds like a crack of light in the relentless gloom from palestine . palestine. >> cameron urges hamas to accept very generous ceasefire offer. so hamas have been offered 40 day, a 40 day ceasefire, and this could include the release of thousands of palestinian prisoners. could it's not definite , and of course, definite, and of course, everyone's urging them to take this, but i, you know, they haven't taken it so far have they. so no, no . they. so no, no. >> well i mean i find it quite, you know, the whole thing with the hostages was and the whole thing on october the 7th, it was obviously so horrific and shocking that the question of what exactly did the hamas , the what exactly did the hamas, the terrorists hoped to achieve was, was rarely really examined, was it? and the existence of these thousands of palestinian prisoners has not been discussed very often. right. you know what i mean. if this is presumably what they were thinking they wanted to secure by taking hostages , is that is that the hostages, is that is that the implication that many of them.

>> not since october 7th? >> not since october 7th? >> no, i don't think so. i think they're i think they've been imprisoned for quite some time, you know, many of them for perfectly valid reasons. yeah. josh said, you know, that's a very but that's this is the thing that doesn't get discussed very often. in my experience. i may have just been reading the wrong thing. >> is that promising a 40 day truce as well? i'd be a little bit worried what they're going to do after that 40 days, maybe they're saving up like a really big bomb, but it is fairly generous. i understand what cameron means because they're talking about 33. they potentially accept 33 hostages in exchange for thousands. so to the layman, that does seem quite reasonable. deal. it looks like it could actually happen because let's face it, this war is not going anywhere. nothing's going to change and you can't win it. no, they're saying and people are admitting they're not close to a two state solution as we know. so all it's going to happenis know. so all it's going to happen is you may as well have this ceasefire. it sounds like it might actually happen. egypt are in favour of it, i think. i think so, i think it's actual progress. >> and if they let's say they released all those hostages and they did exchange them and we accepted the exchange rate or whatever, the international community thought that was fair. and they got them all home. and

then israel continued trying to wipe out hamas with the international community, then would just have none of that at all. well, it's already been, don't you think, a net loss for israel. >> yeah, because the international community and in terms of their power, because iran, i know people said that was done for show, but would it would iran have attacked so brazenly in the past? i'm not sure. so it's been a net loss for israel, unfortunately. >> but i mean, that was one of the questions was whether they whether the hamas puppeteers in iran had calculated that, for instance, the mood, the sentiment in young people in particular, you know, in the in the west, in america , because i the west, in america, because i don't think we would previously have seen quite such, unilateral support for palestine and describing it as a genocide and so on. ten years ago. >> no, no. definitely not. >> no, no. definitely not. >> i remember people used to wear the wristbands and it was kind of the cool opinion to have. yeah, yeah. but we weren't i don't think people knew about it. >> yeah, but lord cameron didn't have that opinion. no. >> exactly. lord cameron of chipping norton jezza the slug basher will be furious about

that. should have been his agriculture news in the guardian. now, nick, talking of the slug basher and the wettest 18 months on record, it does feel like the wrong sort of climate change. >> yeah, it's wash out winter spells price rises for uk shoppers with key crops down by a fifth. and it's going to affect beer. sorry. bread beer and biscuits. the simon evans story. it's a good name . red story. it's a good name. red beer and biscuits. it's got a kind of angela's ashes kind of vibe. or maybe an album in the 80s. >> bread and circuses, a little bit, new labour. yeah. biscuit >> my story. yeah. it's. anyway, the reason is the fields are waterlogged. they can't be planted , tractors can't apply planted, tractors can't apply fertilisers. so this is all going to impact the cost of all these things. i mean, if you're gluten intolerant, you're fine. but otherwise it is a bit of an issue. >> well it's good. it's interesting you raise that because i was aware of this. we went actually to stay with some friends who ran a farm right up north over easter, and his fields were still under water. and he explained to us, this is going to be, you know, half the

country is harvest is going to be affected. i was thinking, i don't eat bread. so is that bad for me? because that means everyone else. but of course, that means everyone else will be moving on to my turf. they'll be. >> i know you shouldn't mention the beer. yeah, i don't drink been the beer. yeah, i don't drink beer. so between us, cressida doesn't have, biscuits. but then we're absolutely fine. i can't remember what the. don't worry about that, nick. something here i think it's bizarre, though, that the guardian are, like, climbing into bed with the farmers and going, oh, we're the defenders of the farmers in this article, because five minutes ago we were having farmers protests because they were being told what to do with their land and they had to fill it with, well, it was the welsh farmers, wasn't it? >> something like 10% of their land had to go to tree growing or something. yeah, i don't know. just coming from the guardian, it's i mean they're pushing climate change aren't they. >> what are they gonna. >> what are they gonna. >> we're certainly going to be short of cereal crops. and we are going to be importing stuff. but i suppose another big question is whether or not i don't even know where we're at with ukraine at the moment. i mean, ukraine was the is traditionally the bread basket of europe, isn't it? but i don't suppose that's had a terrific, harvest in prospect. i don't know has it been affected? >> the grain supplies have been.

the prices have gone way up because of the war. absolutely. >> one way or another, it's a good time to go fully carnivore, i reckon. yes full kwarteng louis is here staying with the guardian now. cressida what looks to me like an utterly redundant and tiresome portmanteau neologism for the crime of blackmail. >> wow. teachers warned to be on lookout for victims of sextortion in uk schools. this is horrible. this is so sad , so is horrible. this is so sad, so sextortion is when somebody , sextortion is when somebody, either extract gets you to send them real compromising material orjust makes it up. you know, we're always having stories about! we're always having stories about i faux porn and stuff, that kind of thing . and so this that kind of thing. and so this it's something that teachers and parents are on have to look out for because it's young boys are particularly susceptible to this, susceptible to being duped by it. yes. they're very vulnerable targets. and what the people want is a typically, people want is a typically, people coming from africa. it's basically catfishing. on another level, it's about getting money out of people. yeah, but the

problem is, if you do it to a 16 year old boy, there's a good chance he won't know what to do. and there have been lots of cases of suicide. god. >> so they won't send me. send me a picture of yourself. >> i think so, i think so, and i think they may threaten to release that, too. exactly. we're going to send this to all the contacts in your phone. and, the contacts in your phone. and, the parents in this article are trying to raise awareness of this because they lost their 16 year old son to suicide. yeah horrible. >> it's actually happened to a lad who works on my podcast. he he was he they created a picture where his face next to a mock picture of another, part, and then they send that and they say, if you don't pay us, we'll send that around. he obviously didn't pay. they actually did send. it suddenly appeared on all his contacts lists, like his brother's friend and all sorts of things. so there's a real thing. and the fact that you say it affects, male victims between 14 and 18. another horrible thing for young boys. >> yeah. hadn't realised that. so that's that's kind of weird, isn't it? because you would think boys of that age just kind of, i don't know , goofily i of, i don't know, goofily i don't know, i don't picture them

having the shame, but they do. >> yeah. i mean, that's when you're really vulnerable. you've got no sense of how you could get over things, i remember there was a photo. i went on a sort of scout camp, once , when sort of scout camp, once, when i was about 17 and, got absolutely blind drunk, passed out outside the house. we were staying in a sort of, you know, hut, face down in the leaves and a photograph circulated of me and l, photograph circulated of me and i, my trousers were lowered because i'd been, you know, relieving myself. and i don't know whether i'd tripped and fallen over or. but anyway, this photograph went around . it was photograph went around. it was pretty horrendous. and. >> but am i right in saying that in those days, a genuine photograph? no offence. yeah, the one i'm talking about was was a fake, but that was real. >> yeah, that this was real. >> yeah, that this was real. >> yeah. and it wasn't of my tote. it was just like, you know, a bit of a bit of bare cheek in the moonlight. i would hazard a guess that they had to photocopy them individually, whereas the point is this is happening on the internet. i'm

going to need therapy. yeah. anyway, now it's terrible . i anyway, now it's terrible. i would i know whether there's any of them watching, but i would honestly say just tough it out though. that's the way. exactly it is. >> so they want the teachers and the parents to have these conversations ahead of time, because if it happens to the kid and they feel isolated, that's when the worst can happen. >> and if anyone shares that sort of thing with you, you've just got to you've got to just immediately cancel it. yeah. >> because they're talking about tech safeguarding. it's actually the persuasion element more than the persuasion element more than the tech itself. it's the tracking of it. yeah. >> we are halfway through the show in part three astrazeneca revelations. sick note culture or is it blue notes and the top destinations for amnesty students. we'll

and welcome back to headliners so we have the daily mail now, nick. and finally, all your most dissident views on vaccine mandates can be unleashed. >> hate to say i was proved

right, but astrazeneca admits for the first time its covid vaccine can cause a rare side effect. intense legal fight with victims of defective jab and it's a shocker . basically, it's a shocker. basically, there's going to be cases worth up to 20 million in compensation and guess who's going to pay? it's johnny taxpayer because of course you release a questionable jab, you get legal immunity from the government. it then harms people. and then lo and behold, we have to pay even though their revenue exceeds 10 billion in the first quarter of 2024, a rise of 19. we don't know how much is profit, but you can imagine probably quite a lot. astrazeneca. >> i seem to remember they actually released the vaccine as actually released the vaccine as a non—profit enterprise, didn't they? but i imagine their share price. >> but i'm saying they probably got enough money to tackle some of these legal fees rather than us. i don't have the money to tackle it. and i didn't get it, and i was against it. why do i have to pay for it? >> well fair enough. i mean, what the devil devil's advocate, isuppose what the devil devil's advocate, i suppose you might say, as taxpayers, the vaccine rollout , taxpayers, the vaccine rollout, at least as we understood it at the time, like save the country millions because of furlough

schemes that were costing us vastly more than that at the time. so on balance, it was probably would happily have had this is this is obviously like not what is important to these people. yeah. >> but if we didn't have lockdown and none of that would have well, i agree with you. >> i agree with you. but this is all like getting the conversation going, isn't it? because up until recently, we just haven't been allowed to discuss this at all? no. and now andrew bridgen is making progress and the conversation is starting to happen because, you know, the truth never sleeps. i mean, i don't know, it's still very heated isn't it? >> in america, there was a big row jordan peterson had one on his podcast with that young chap called destiny . yeah. which is called destiny. yeah. which is quite odd sites. >> weird information from wikipedia . wikipedia. >> yeah, but with quite a plausible sort of tone of voice. yeah i don't understand how he's got where he is. just called destiny. that used to be a pick up artist called that, i know. anyway, but yeah, i mean, it's the moral case. i think it's still probably so few cases that you would still say, on balance, you would still say, on balance, you know, it would be it was a good thing for the nation. not

lockdown but the vaccines. but that's different from required people to take. >> we were that way. you might feel that the cost was just unbelievable for something that for, for a huge number of people didn't need it in the first place. absolutely and people lost their livelihoods when they said no. i mean, that's outrageous. i just every week i feel more smug and i feel like i'm the only person that didn't get a really bad. >> people really kind of lost their sanity as well, didn't they? or their their kind of sense of living in people. yeah. >> i remember trying to discuss government overreach with a friend, and in the end, all the person could say was, well, it's best to be on the safe side. they couldn't even have the conversation. i'm furious about it. >> still, the harm principle. so a divisive story in the mail now crested are another one. but i think perhaps most freelancers in comedy will have a singular view on this. >> the sick note culture clampdown that's dividing britain, disabled people and their carers slam plans to replace monthly benefit payments with vouchers, but others say it

will stop abuse of the system . will stop abuse of the system. so yeah, rishi apparently is proposing vouchers instead of pip pip proposing vouchers instead of pip pip payments. what does it stand for? can't remember, personal personal independence payment. but what this article doesn't exactly say is what these vouchers are for. in some cases , it's to get moderations, cases, it's to get moderations, changes made to your home. so if you've had some sort of disability where you need, you get a rail or something. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> so fair enough, but i don't when you read the headline, you think, oh, they mean like, fruit and veg vouchers and you're not allowed to spend it on fags, but it's not clear exactly. >> is there something. this is a more general point, but do you think there's something about a certain age when you just cannot keep up with the new disability and welfare payments of one kind or another? they just seem , i or another? they just seem, i remember like jobseeker's allowance and things like that. they seem to be from, i don't know, 20 or 30 years ago, just the constantly evolving and mutating series of financial benefits. i mean, they say, you know, the tax code just doubles

in size every couple of years. >> no , the ever evolving >> no, the ever evolving bureaucratic complexity of the benefits system. yeah. no one's ever managed to simplify it. they've tried to with universal credit. yeah, maybe they've done it a little bit. it all depends doesn't it. we've got there's always anxiety and depression and things like that taking people out of the workforce, which shouldn't do that. so as i've said, if you can't work with anxiety and depression, then i've got no hope. but true. but you just, you know, you have to just work anyway. >> that is true. sorry. yeah >> that is true. sorry. yeah >> no it is. tell me about it. and you get no sympathy. i can tell you that as well. but there's a minor here. an ex minor, 70 years old, disabled due to working his early life as a coal miner. that's the guy i want to pay. yeah, that's absolutely valid. the guy's destroyed his body. working hard. he should get money breathing in particulate matter. >> yes. >> yes. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. the coal face. so. absolutely. so it's a problem because some people deserve it. but if we don't do something i imagine the entire benefit system collapsing. then you've got yourself an apocalyptic scenario. so you've got to reduce it rather than when you say collapsing, you mean under its own weight. >> yeah. i mean, because somewhere in here they talk about, i always think that is the most plausible when people talk about a failed state, when

they talk about civilisations collapsing, you know, what does it actually look like? >> and i think that would be it. i think in our present world, that would be how it collapses. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> the welfare state i've heard people say that's how rome went. >> yeah. one of my dad's theories. yeah. >> part two. yeah. >> part two. yeah. >> because fundamentally you've got the ageing population and you've got the low birth rate. and that's the fundamental problem behind it. you have all these people more and more. maybe they are all legitimate claims, but how do we afford them all. yeah, that's a big problem. well somebody like matthew paris saying you're absolutely right. >> people used to go to work with anxiety and depression, and they were often given powerful drugs like barbiturates and so on, to get through them that were no good for them. it was terrible. there shouldn't be a return to that, but to swing too far the other way and just say, you can stay home. you know, it is , it's the slipperiest of is, it's the slipperiest of slopes, absolute. yeah, yeah. okay, good. we're all on the same side. how many days off have you had in the last ten years, nick? me too . mental years, nick? me too. mental illness or, not anxiety? no i haven't had a single. i think i've taken a single day off work on for anything. and that was

gout. on for anything. and that was gout . you know, i got it was. so gout. you know, i got it was. so you allowed days off for good 19th century illnesses only generously. >> 19th century, 17th century illnesses handed checklist in the mail. >> now for which universities to send your kids to if you want them to benefit from a bit of cultural enrichment. yeah yeah. >> it's a third of foreign students seeking to stay in the uk at just six institutions, figures show, and they're not the most augustines either. it's study group uk, which is just an education agency. then it's portsmouth de montford, hertfordshire. coventry and the creative arts university, whatever that is. university of creative arts. but it's they're saying it's not their fault because they're saying it's actually it's the government's policy which allows you to switch visa from your education visa to just asylum seeker, and then suddenly you're an asylum seeker and so that's why you lose a z asylum seeker. >> that's part of a tree's irrigation infrastructure , i irrigation infrastructure, i think. asylum showing up 158 iq again, so asylum seeker.

>> well, anyway, that's the point. >> they're blaming the government. the government? well, i don't know if the government is blaming them, but the archewell sort of semi blaming them. and we've got this big problem. people come in for visa. it's a scam just to stay in the country as well as phrase was pretty apt. she said. too many universities are selling immigration, not education. and thatis immigration, not education. and that is correct. >> that is exactly the suspicion, isn't it? and i don't care whether it's individual universities or whether it's the system, but it's definitely would you say this is the thing, isn't it? >> i, i have some sympathy when they say, look it's not us gov. it's the system. fair enough. but then why are there so many at particular institutions like. >> well, maybe god knows. maybe it is because they tend to know that that's where their brother or cousin or someone they heard from went. you know, i mean, that's often why we are a target for immigration generally, isn't it? because there's family hooking up. but it is very often, you know , these things. often, you know, these things. it's like working in the common agricultural policy or something. you know, you get you get a telegram telling you what to plant that year and the same thing. the very few people are part of a real, you know, independent decision making

progress, i think, process. i don't know, nick. what do you think? >> there's a i don't know, i'm just worried this is going to get so much worse under labour. they they need to solve all this in like what a couple of months. it's up. >> it's like that moment when you wake up and you realise you haven't done your homework, isn't it? after 14 years times now, cressida, i wonder if you could give us your aesthetically neutral take on this calling women pretty at work is sex discrimination. >> judge rules , so this judge, >> judge rules, so this judge, has has ruled that suggesting a woman's look might help a business is not flattering and instead risks diminishing her. but what really happened is that somebody who worked with somebody who worked with somebody who worked with somebody who was an old family friend had a kind of slightly naff exchange of text messages , naff exchange of text messages, and this has now resulted in a legal thing. and i just fall on the side of, okay, maybe it's not to great text these things, but i think that this is a

problem that as far as possible, women should solve immediately. absolutely. and personally and the moment you start getting the authorities involved, i just think , what is the long term think, what is the long term plan for this? are you trying to make women unemployable and also it will elevate that woman's status, a in the eyes of the people that she works with. >> and also in her own mind, she thinks i'm somebody who can say, yeah, personally, would not want to employ that person. >> no. but one thing is, i know the sexes are different as we believe here, but if this happens to a man, it'd be amazing. we never get any compliments to. this lady has said she was humiliated and undermined. it's called work. that's the workplace. i get humiliated , undermined every humiliated, undermined every day. by the way. also, this not all women would treat like this. he had this relationship just with her. which proves it's not all women, right? yeah. >> they were a very particular way. they were. they were friends and they're friends blurring between, you know, my goodness me, in comedy, of course, everyone's you know, this a lot of sort of this sort of blurring really shouldn't be taking up court time when we know. >> right. exactly. important asylum cases, not legal. that's

three down, one to go in the final traditionally left field section we have zdtv switching on eu voices silenced and why losing your keys might actually be a strategic manoeuvre on the part of your

and welcome back to headliners. so exciting news for the final section. elon musk . cressida so exciting news for the final section. elon musk. cressida in the daily mail. after space rockets and electric cars , he's rockets and electric cars, he's now invented television. >> elon musk has teased the long anticipated launch of x tv after vowing to turn the site into an everything app, which will be compatible with most smart devices. so i think he's trying to recreate youtube. yeah, which is exciting, isn't it? because does this mean it's the end of the end of free speech? if elon's holding the keys to youtube, no one will get demonetised. is that how it all works? >> i don't know, i haven't really worked out how

monetisation works. i think you've managed to get a few quid out of $252. amazing. >> so i obviously i advocate x, but i don't know if i'm compromised now because i'm doing so well out of it. >> i mean, you actually do get genuinely you don't farm engagement. i mean, it grows my real opinion . you it's real. real opinion. you it's real. yeah. but i don't get much engagement. but it's all that stuff you say, but yeah, no other people . but it has been a other people. but it has been a disaster for twitter. a lot of accountants accounts, a lot of accounts i used to like. now just sort of go. what's your favourite film with a pig in it, taylor swift guys, yes or no? >> i know, i know, farming engagement. it's awful. what do you notice about this clip? yeah, well, the fact that you're trying to get money off me, i think, but what i love about musk, he had, like, a flickering tv logo. his logo. it looks like mtv in the 90s. everything musk doesis mtv in the 90s. everything musk does is a genius, but aesthetically, it's all rubbish . aesthetically, it's all rubbish. but i love it because he's trying to take us back to the 90s. max, isn't he? you know, kind of like, hey guys, let's be colour—blind. let's not be like, bother about race in every way you want and look at this

rubbish graphic. he wants to go back to the 90s and i love it. >> it's absolutely true. and the 90s were the best decade. it's funny how we didn't realise. i think we kind of knew semi—new time. yeah, yeah it did. no, it was good. i did know i was blessed, but yeah, absolutely. i cannot imagine that i'm going to sit around in the evening watching anything to do with twitter on a tv screen though, i mean, oh you will, you will, simon, you will. >> yeah. it'll be like apple tv but be x tv, there'll be no other choice anyway because musk will shut everyone else down. a benign dictatorship of musk. >> okay, well, if there's lots of american music club videos, maybe staying with twitter adjacent news. nick, this is woeful even by mastodon standards in the telegraph. >> yeah , that was mastodon that >> yeah, that was mastodon that he said, by the way, it's perfectly allowed for brussels scraps. privacy friendly twitter rival with just 18 active accounts. so the eu had this lame thing eu voice and it was like, oh, we can do a sort of it was based on a technology provided by mastodon, like, hey, let's have our own twitter. but it was rubbish and no one cared because they're lame losers. it was based on peertube, which is an open source technology. peertube and it was 40. lame. i

know 40. i know that mastodon was a thing for a while, wasn't it? amongst the remainers centrist. i'm just going to go to mastodon guys. you can find my mastodon and no one. it didn't take off because it was rubbish and boring. >> they'll be here any minute now. yeah, yeah , 40 eu bodies now. yeah, yeah, 40 eu bodies and politicians have signed up for eu voice, but only 18 of them were active because it's a rubbish idea that can't compete with the mighty musk. and it's rubbish. this is somebody's work. >> it's called network effect i think. is that right? it's a sort of scale thing. geoffrey west wrote a whole book about it. fascinating called scale, about why, like, whales are more effective than insects and why cities have, you know, a city can be ten times the population of a town , but have at least of a town, but have at least 100, if not a thousand times as many. interesting things to do that evening. these things scale, you know, the way that networks happen. it's very interesting. but i mean, you don't need to read the whole book to have known this was a book to have known this was a book that makes. >> yeah, this is like trying to say my new nickname is everyone calls me it. no oh, yeah. it has to write yourself. >> i mean, i did it with big dog

for a bit, but yeah, it's giving yourself. boris did it with his own nickname, big dog. that's why i copied that. >> we have to move on. we're going to squeeze a couple more in. we've got encouraging, encouraging news now for those of us of a certain age. cressida in the telegraph . in the telegraph. >> forgetting where your keys or wallet are does not mean you're losing your memory, scientists say. so apparently it just means that actually you you need a bit more space for other important things. it'sjust more space for other important things. it's just not important to you. you'd think where your keys were would be important to you. >> but it is important. and i'll tell you why. because it's infuriating when you can't find them and you get into a bad temper that can take quite, quite a few minutes to clear even after you've found them. you know? i mean, i can spend whole afternoons. i've got a routine about it, but it is. i don't think the brain is making good decisions. what are you. well, isn't it unconscious competence? >> you know, like when you're driving, you don't need to think about it consciously anymore. so that's why you don't notice in this case where you put your. although i suppose if it was competence, you'd find them. so maybe it's unconscious incompetence. >> it is that thing. it's definitely when you come in and you put your keys down, you're not thinking about where you put them down. it's not that you

can't remember, it's that you're not paying attention when you put them down. which is why you need. >> gentlemen, can i introduce you to hand—bags in the same way that you never lose your toothbrush because it only goes there. >> well, i don't lose stuff. i'm trying to relate to simon, but it's the. it's the little. i don't lose my keys. the little airpod case with your headphones. that's the one that gets me. yeah. it's usually like ihave gets me. yeah. it's usually like i have one. >> i can't carry a handbag. obviously, until we manage to do away with this trans business once and for all. that's what's annoying me about it, you know? but i have had i have worn enormously large kind of, you know, bumbag. yeah, yeah, but my wife says that looks more gay than a handbag. she's probably right about that. i don't know , right about that. i don't know, but balance. >> i just want to say something that's great, though. >> and maybe a sport running 93v- 933!- >> 93!!- >> obviously. >> obviously. >> can you with a sperm with it? anyway, that's that's all we've had time to show. >> amazing. >> amazing. >> sadly, no time to look at the mental capacity of the t—rex and whether he used to lose his keys all the time. the show is nearly oven all the time. the show is nearly over. let's take another quick look at tuesday's front pages. daily mail all schools warned on sextortion epidemic. telegraph sextortion epidemic. telegraph sex is a biological fact nhs

declares guardian yusuf quits as first minister after coalition gamble triggers snp crisis. the times snp lurches into another crisis as its leader quits anus pip disability benefit could be cut using new system with six tiers. and finally, the daily star creepy jez will kill 18 billion sluts. those we have front pages. that's all we have time for. my thanks to my guests, cressida wetton and nick dixon on this glorious evening. we are yusuf free. i'm back tomorrow at 11 pm. with leo kearse and stephen allan . if you kearse and stephen allan. if you are watching at 5 am. stay tuned for breakfast. otherwise thank you for your time and good night. >> that warm feeling inside from boxt boilers is sponsors of weather on gb news. >> time for your latest weather update from the met office here on gb news. good evening to you tomorrow more wet weather to come in parts of the west, whereas in the east it will start to feel fairly warm in the

late april sunshine. low pressure is still dominating, but it's kind of slow moving and it's in these western areas where we've seen outbreaks of rain today that we will again see them tomorrow. staying fairly damp overnight across south wales, southwest england, the rain easing a little across parts of scotland, the heavy showers also easing in northern ireland, at least for a time, staying largely clear across east anglia and the south—east. temperature wise, a bit warmer than recent nights, most urban areas at least staying up at 7 to 10 c. on to tuesday. and as i said, it's a bit of an east west split. we'll start with a lot of cloud across northern england, but i'm hopeful it'll brighten up here. there will be further rain for wales and northern ireland, some heavy rain as well. the yellows and the reds in there and also fairly wet for parts of southwest england. pretty gusty in these western areas as well. a few showers in western scotland, but a good part of scotland dry much of northern england, the midlands, east anglia and the southeast having a fine old day and it will feel a bit warmer as well.

look at those temperatures 17, 18, maybe even 19 celsius, but still on the cool side where we've got the cloud and the breeze and the outbreaks of rain further west from that area of low pressure that does pull away, allowing some warmer weather to move in over the next few days. but it is not going to be dry everywhere. there will still be some heavy rain around. >> a brighter outlook with boxt solar sponsors of weather on .

into breakfast here on gb news with eamonn holmes and isabel webster. >> yeah, fantastic to have your company, especially so early in the morning. thank you for joining us. our top story this morning. the home office admits thousands of migrants set for rwanda have slipped through the

net. >> yes, more problems for the government. they've earmarked nearly 6000 people eligible to be sent to rwanda, but it now turns out that over 3000 of them, they don't actually know where they are. i'll bring you more details shortly . more details shortly. >> the nhs states that sex is a biological fact, and changes that will see trans women banned from female wards . from female wards. >> and what next for scotland? the search is underway for the next first minister, following humza yousafs dramatic resignation. >> did the repairing our relationship across the political divide can only be done with someone else at the helm ? helm? >> the duchess of edinburgh has become the first royal to visit ukraine since russia's invasion . ukraine since russia's invasion. buckingham palace says the visit was in solidarity with the women, men and children impacted by the war and the olympic